“I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.” — The last words of Bill Hicks
“Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration—that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we’re the imagination of ourselves. Here’s Tom with the weather!” — Bill Hicks
“I have this feeling whoever is elected President like Clinton was, no matter what you promise on the campaign trail, blah blah blah, when you win, you go into this smoky room with the 12 industrialist, capitalist scumfucks who got you in there and you’re in this smoky room and this little film screen comes down and a big guy with a cigar [says] ‘Roll the film.’ And it’s a shot of the Kennedy Assassination that you’ve never seen before that looks suspiciously off the Grassy Knoll, and then the screen goes up and the lights come up and they go, to the new president, ‘Any questions?’” - Bill Hicks, “The Elite”
“A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks, you think when Jesus comes back he wants to see a cross? Kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on. ‘Just thinking of John, Jackie, just thinking of John.’” — Bill Hicks
“When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ‘til the end of time! But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can’t handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!” - George Carlin
President Obama said a lot of great things during his speech tonight. But when you become as cynical as Bill Hicks you start to realize that it really doesn’t matter whether the President is Democrat or Republic; they’re all full of shit. They’re all talk and no action and Obama’s poor record shows he’s just “one of the boys.” Instead of protecting the poor and sticking up for the working class he just gave more bailouts to scum. This has been the case ever since (and before) Reagan and his horseshit. Maybe he’ll turn things around but then again, maybe not.
“Let me tell you what I think: The cocksucking elite who own and run everything in this fucking country are selling it out from under us tomorrow. There ain’t no battle over fucking NAFTA, that’s a fucking charade, like our elections are a fucking charade, and tomorrow, ladies and gentlemen, they’re selling your fucking life out from under you. Don’t you ever fucking forget it either… There’s dick jokes coming up, please relax” — Bill Hicks